Good evening, ladies and Gentlemen. I hope you have enjoyed the training and discussions you have been having on this platform. Well done for being ready to be part of the solution to the poor education system we have in Nigeria

This evening, I want to be sure about what most of you are truly interested in. I wanted to talk about emotional intelligence as a topic. I look forward to your comments as soon as we start

It is great to meet all of you on this platform

 

Many of us make comments like “This child is intelligent”. What we really mean is that the child is doing well in school. Most of us have not done tests to ascertain the child’s Intelligence Quotient or IQ. The latter is a measurement of a child’s abilty to learn and reason skilfully. it measures in other words the childs ability to do well in school as it is primarily a measurement of literacy and numeracy skills and aptitude. Most teachers would score high in these tests which aslo happen to be fixed and unchangeable through life

However, IQ has been found in many tests to be a weak predictor of success in life. There is another measurement – Emotional Quotient (EQ) or Emotional Intelligence (EI) which is a better predictor of success. And by success we mean success in school, work and life

EI is intangible as it measures our ability to manage our emotions, handle situations, relate with others and manage the complex social relationships we have around us. Concerning social relationships, look at yourself and think about all the roles you play in life. Let me use myself as an example – wife, mother, daughter, sister, entrepreneur, lifelong learner, teacher and mentor, coach, leader to my staff, member of many voluntary organisations, leading staff in a public institutions, involved in church activities, concerned about spiritual growth of all around me, a social person who likes relating with others etc. All these are complex and need a degree of EI. Please look at yourself for a miinute and writte down and share some of your roles

In summary, EQ measures our ability to manage our emotions. CAn we think of examples of emotions?

Emotions include love, hatred, jealousy, joy, anxiety, inadequacy, feeling of failure, elation etc. Emotions are all necessary and help us to function effectively as human beings. They tell us to fight, run away or just accept a situation. Their management, like I said is key to EQ. There are 2 dimentions to your emotions. They affect you physiologically – your heart rate may go up, you may have headaches and other body reactions. They are also psychological and can put in a a sad, angry or happy mood.

I hope you were able to read the last slide. it confirms the significance of EQ. In fact, there is a saying that IQ gets you hired and EQ gets you fired. It is not enough for us to be clever, we must be able to manage and control our emotions

Can we answer this question? What is the likelihood of success in the following scenarios (4)
High IQ, Low EQ
High IQ, High EQ
Low IQ, High EQ
Low IQ, Low EQ

I would now like to look at the components of EQ. There are basically 5 although there are others – self awareness, self management, social relationships, relationship management and motivation. We will look at them one by one after I address the 4 scenarios

 

Scenario A High IQ, Low EQ. The person’s level of success will be marginal because they are clever in terms of knowledge etc but they will not get along well with people at work and in social relationships and this will work against them. They can also go so far

Scenario B – High IQ and High EQ. This is a recipe for success. The person not only has a high cognitive ability, they are also good at managing themselves and relating well with people.

Scenario C – Low IQ and High EQ. The person may not be very clever, but because they get along well with others and people like them, they may do very well in the work place and in life in general. They may even be very successful in what they are doing as they can delegate to others who in turn are willing to work with them

Scenario D – Low IQ, Low EQ is almost certain recipe for failure in work, life and relationships. The person is not only clever, they cannot get along well with others

I am a bit concerned that people are not engaged. please let me know wether I am connecting with you or not

I will backtrack a little. I was going to go into details about the components of EQ so that each one of us will learn how this concept will affect our success in the workplace. However, due to the marvellous comment by Ayopuju Falekulo, I will also talk about EQ in the classroom

The significance is that our children have multiple gifts. these have been described by Howeard Gardner as intelligences. They can also be described as gifts. Some children have high IQ as they score high in literacy and numeracy tests but others may have musical genuis (think of Fela and classical musicians such as Handel or Lagbaja, Asa etc), Body kinesthetic genius (great atheletes – Mohammed Ali, Michael Jordan, Kanu Nwankwo), artistic genius such as Leonardo da Vinci who painted the last supper or jimoh Ibrahim. We should as educationists ensure that we help each child to bring out the genius in them

Now, to talk about the components of EQ.

Self awareness – you know who you are and are very comfortable and confident in your person. You are aware of your emotions and have developed strategies to manage them

Self management talks about your strategies for coping with your emotions.

Social awareness is your proficiency with building and managing your relationships. You are able to find common ground with people and value and nurture your relationships.

Relationship management is your ability to manage the emotions of other people
If you manage these 5 characteristics, you will be successful in life, at work, in managing relationships – whether it is at home, work, marriage, social groups

 

There was a great question on Platform 14. Someone wante dto know how to manage a child with low EQ and low IQ and my answer was: Great question. The beauty of EQ is taht, unlike IQ, it can be improved. For such a child there must be something the child is good at. I have not seen a child who does not have at least a gift. Find what the child loves and start to build their confidence by playing up that skill. If the child likes to draw, put their paintings up in class. Use affirmative language and always be supportive. Build up the child’s confidence and this will impact their social skills and relationships as well. I have examples and I found that caring for and loving the child was very effective

I will emphasise the fact that EQ is a skill and like many skills, it can be measured, it can be taught and it can be learned and can be mastered. Lets take the measurement. there are many sites online whener you can assess your EQ. I have one taht I use and will try and attach although I am a bit concerned that my attachments dont seem to be working
This is a test by Dr. Goleman:

Do you – can you – are you:
1.understand both your strengths and weaknesses?
2.be depended on to take care of every detail? Do you hate to let things slide?
3.comfortable with change and open to novel ideas?
4.motivated by the satisfaction of meeting your own standards of excellence?
5.stay optimistic when things go wrong?
6.see things from another person’s point of view and sense what matters most to that person?
7.let customers’ needs determine how you serve them?
8.enjoy helping co-workers develop their skills?
9.read office politics accurately?
10.able to find “win-win” solutions in negotiations and conflicts?
11.the kind of person other people want on a team? Do you enjoy collaborating with others?
12.usually persuasive?

Add up the number of questions to which you could answer yes. How did you score?
•Answering yes to six or more of the EI skill items indicates that you are working well and with maturity in the workplace.
•Do you have more than five questions to which you answered no? Do people who know you well agree with your high number of negative scores? If so, what can you do to change and improve your emotional score?

 

 

 

Finally, how can we improve our EQ? Goleman’s suggestion is in the earlier slide. The first step is to measure your IQ, analyse the results and find out your weak and strong areas. In other words, conduct a SWOT analysis. From this, observe and manage your own behaviour, focus on a few competencies. Dont try and improve all. For example, some years ago my PA said I was indiffferent to people’s personal lives and only required them to work hard. This I got from a 360 degree assessment I took when I was going on a course. I was quite surprised as I hought I was nicer than that! However, I remembered that the quality of a relationship cannot be from my perspective only but from the other persons perspective. So, I decided to show more conern and empathy for my staff. It was a wake up moment and I really worked on it, practicing the skill all the time. it worked for me. I made mistakes, at times I was impatient and backtracked but ultimately it became second nature. I want people to work with me and be happy that they did. it improved my relationships as well as my personal productivity

I want to thank everyone that took part. I enjoyed myself, i learned form you and i hope you learned from me. God bless you all

 

 

Please accept our sincere appreciation for the outstanding presentation ma

you made this evening.

Thank you for your stimulating speech Mrs Adefisayo

We hope you can join us again and again

I hope CREATIVE MINDED EDUCATORS have learnt something new this evening

 

The link to read and share this lecture will be avaliable soon